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The Irish Apprentice Episode 2

  • 8:09 PM Simon McGarr - We’re in the Digital Hub, trying to persuade EA to let us promote Facebreaker, a boxing game. Runners up (the girls) get to launch Spore.
  • 8:11 PM Simon McGarr - Seems quixotic tonight, as we all stock up on canned goods and automatic weapons for the coming financial Armageddon.
  • 8:13 PM Simon McGarr - Both teams have spent half the day standing in empty venues.
  • 8:14 PM Simon McGarr - “We should name the food”. Genius. “This will put us streets ahead”.
  • 8:16 PM Simon McGarr - Girls get to launch the most anticipated game for years.
  • 8:16 PM Simon McGarr - Ads: Ad for TV3.
  • 8:17 PM Simon McGarr - Stupid Guinness ad where they mess up some poor office block’s Carbon Footprint.
  • 8:18 PM Simon McGarr - SKY still flogging HD rubbish at us. Not biting on that one.
  • 8:18 PM Simon McGarr - Discover Ireland ignoring the fact that it just costs too much to go on holiday here.
  • 8:19 PM Simon McGarr - Geordie Wheetabix voice. Couldn’t afford actual Antandec.
  • 8:20 PM Simon McGarr - Giant prop comedy is always a winner.
  • 8:20 PM Simon McGarr - And we’re back!
  • 8:22 PM Simon McGarr - One of Bill’s Bad Apple Watchers thinks the boys are good. All the evidence suggests otherwise.
  • 8:22 PM Simon McGarr - They’re now looting an actual gym.
  • 8:24 PM Simon McGarr - The girls, it turns out, are lost when it comes to actually playing the game.
  • 8:25 PM Simon McGarr - Meanwhile the boys have discovered that if you order things from printers, you have to pay them.
  • 8:26 PM Simon McGarr - The girls are trying to come up with some way of breaking past the crack doormen in the IFSC. Why they have decided that only stockbrokers will be interested in Spore is left unexplained.
  • 8:29 PM Simon McGarr - They also show they are unfamiliar with the history of Cybermen, as they have allowed glitter to come near the PC’s grills.
  • 8:30 PM Simon McGarr - Meanwhile, our men haven’t noticed that all the gear they swiped from the gym was Addidas branded.
  • 8:31 PM Simon McGarr - The boy’s event is empty, nobody introduced the game, they all wandered around looking lost.
  • 8:32 PM Simon McGarr - We all know what gender this week’s firee is going to be.
  • 8:32 PM Simon McGarr - Ads: Harry Corry assuring us that he’s in the mood for dancing.
  • 8:32 PM Simon McGarr - Walker crisps snippit.
  • 8:33 PM Simon McGarr - Wait, I’ve been switched to RTE by accident. Back on TV3 they’re selling me … something really stupid. It had to have been some sort of smell in abottle.
  • 8:35 PM Simon McGarr - Lyons assuring us that their tea is no longer evil.
  • 8:35 PM Simon McGarr - And we’re back!
  • 8:36 PM Simon McGarr - Everyone files into the absurd boardroom set. Bill comes out of a 1st Generation Star Trek style sliding door.
  • 8:36 PM Simon McGarr - They are going to so regret choosing those team names.
  • 8:37 PM Simon McGarr - Both the gender teams sing the praises of their blank faced leaders.
  • 8:39 PM Simon McGarr - Bill points out that the boys branded the event with the wrong logo.
  • 8:41 PM Simon McGarr - Now we know we can hire Miss Ireland and two lesser models for the night for E200 + E63 bar tab.
  • 8:42 PM Simon McGarr - Boys told they’re losers. Burst out in a visable sweat.
  • 8:44 PM Simon McGarr - Beer ad featuring Airwolf music.
  • 8:45 PM Simon McGarr - Hooray, I love these knitted genie ads from Meteor.
  • 8:49 PM Simon McGarr - And we’re back!
  • 8:49 PM Ger O’Donovan - Girls’ budget reveals that you can get all the models you want in Dublin – including a Miss Ireland – for 200 yoyos and 63 quid behind the bar.
  • 8:49 PM Ger O’Donovan - D’oh, already been said.
  • 8:49 PM Ger O’Donovan - Still, it’s worth pointing out more than once.
  • 8:50 PM Simon McGarr - It is the take away point of the whole show.
  • 8:50 PM Simon McGarr - 63 euros seems commendably abstemious.
  • 8:51 PM Ger O’Donovan - Lightweights.
  • 8:52 PM Simon McGarr - Bad Apple Watcher points out that nobody had turned up for the boys show.
  • 8:52 PM Simon McGarr - Course, he can’t say they had a rubbish game.
  • 8:52 PM Ger O’Donovan - Guys all hugging each other while waiting for Bill to decide who to give the old heave ho. Since when did Irishmen start hugging strangers? I think they’ve invented the Judas Hug meself.
  • 8:53 PM Simon McGarr - These guys suits are terrible. Some of them are wearing three button suits with all of them done up. Crimes.
  • 8:53 PM Ger O’Donovan - Sez Bill – “one o’ yiz is brown bread”
  • 8:53 PM Simon McGarr - Enough to be fired, by itself.
  • 8:53 PM Simon McGarr - Time for the backbiting.
  • 8:54 PM Simon McGarr - Team leader has an utterly blank face. I can’t remember it even as I’m looking at it.
  • 8:54 PM Ger O’Donovan - Guys have got their shirts and ties out of the same M&S selophane packet
  • 8:55 PM Ger O’Donovan - Bill giving it to these guys straight. Generation Y’s mummy’s have conspicuously failed to prepare them for this moment.
  • 8:56 PM Simon McGarr - Bland dude No. 2 claims as his strong point the fact that he brought in the boxing gear. The misbranded gear.
  • 8:57 PM Simon McGarr - Everyone agrees that Stewart, of the terrible facial hair, ought to be fired. But our Blank Leader didn’t notice.
  • 8:59 PM Simon McGarr - Mark, our wonderfully facially expressive Dub gives Bill one of his classic `Are You Mental?` looks.
  • 9:00 PM Simon McGarr - Bland Dude No. 2 gets canned suddenly.
  • 9:01 PM Simon McGarr - Next week, we’re wearing bunny suits for Supermacs. I’m there.
  • 9:01 PM Ger O’Donovan - Humiliation phase of Apprentice looks like it’s going ahead big time.
  • 9:02 PM Ger O’Donovan - Bill feels very headmastery. I seem to remember hearing many of these catchphrases in the halcyon days of my youth. Yizzer expelled!
  • 9:03 PM Ger O’Donovan - eg “If yizzer back in here again, we’ll have a problem”. Sounds like ArdScoil Ris circa 1989.
  • 9:12 PM Simon McGarr - You can find this public service liveblog on Liveblog.ie

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One comment for “The Irish Apprentice Episode 2”

  1. I wondered why nobody commented on the portrayal of the Sacrament of Confession in last week’s Apprentice? As teachers we do our best to teach respect for all faiths. Confession is not something to be used for a gag or an advertisement. It is a Sacrament of the Catholic Church and deserves to be treated with respect.

    Posted by Mary Keenan | October 22, 2009, 10:19 am

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