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The Irish Apprentice Episode 12

  • 9:56 PM Simon McGarr - Bill Cullen wants YOU!
  • 9:57 PM Valerie Woods - Don’t think I’m enough of a warrior for him…..but let’s see how it goes
  • 9:58 PM Suzy Byrne - well he can’t have me! And neither will Q&A with this programme clashing!
  • 10:00 PM Simon McGarr - “I’m a Warrior Bill! I’ll fight for you!” Should we not be concerned at Bill’s plans to build his own private army?
  • 10:01 PM Simon McGarr - Watching the pre-start ads. Where on earth do TV3 get these unwatchable movies? The Lake House?
  • 10:01 PM Simon McGarr - Vincent Brown shouting at me.
  • 10:02 PM Valerie Woods - I don’t know, there were far crazier people than him with armies…..FAR crazier. Vincent Brown thinks he knows more than Vincent Brown knows
  • 10:03 PM Simon McGarr - Ah, the tour of Bill’s Wonderful life.
  • 10:03 PM Simon McGarr - Given the state of Ireland’s economy, it is possible that this will be the Ultimate Job Interview in the nation.
  • 10:05 PM Suzy Byrne - Brennans Bread product placement? Nothing would surprise me after the last few weeks…
  • 10:05 PM Suzy Byrne - Wonder will Brenda’s date of birth be checked today?
  • 10:06 PM Simon McGarr - Who are the mad heads left?
  • 10:06 PM Suzy Byrne - There is no way Orla is older than Brenda!
  • 10:06 PM Simon McGarr - My money’s on Brenda ForTheWin!
  • 10:06 PM Suzy Byrne - Orla, Nicky, Brenda and Stuart
  • 10:07 PM Simon McGarr - Professional Interviewers. Another career my Career Guidance teacher failed to let me know was an option.
  • 10:07 PM Suzy Byrne - PWC going to show what they charge thousands for…
  • 10:07 PM Valerie Woods - Oh…an Interview!!! Imagine! This is actually my first time watching it….I saw a bit of it two weeks ago.
  • 10:08 PM Simon McGarr - Now THAT’s product placement.
  • 10:08 PM Simon McGarr - A Mogul? I love Moguls.
  • 10:08 PM Valerie Woods - They charge for their swanky new offices and courtesy buses!
  • 10:09 PM Suzy Byrne - Interviewers – Gavin Duffy, (Media Mogul) Sheena Clohessy,(hr consultant) Paul hennessy…PWC head…
  • 10:09 PM Suzy Byrne - Team player – ding..
  • 10:09 PM Simon McGarr - We get Bill’s job spec at last. He wants someone who will go around obstacles or through them.
  • 10:10 PM Simon McGarr - I always do one of those two.
  • 10:10 PM Suzy Byrne - So who is Gavin Duffy? Media he moguls?
  • 10:11 PM Valerie Woods - typos!!!
  • 10:12 PM Simon McGarr - Typos in the CV. Burn.
  • 10:12 PM Suzy Byrne - Brenda has Typos…
  • 10:12 PM Valerie Woods - Excuses…not taking responsibility….very bad!
  • 10:12 PM Suzy Byrne - ‘when you delegate you cannot abdicate..’
  • 10:12 PM Valerie Woods - I must remember that one!
  • 10:13 PM Simon McGarr - MAD HEAD ALERT! You know, you’re allowed blink at interviews, Stewart.
  • 10:13 PM Suzy Byrne - skill sets ding…
  • 10:13 PM Valerie Woods - Don’t be mean….he might not have eyelids.
  • 10:14 PM Suzy Byrne - Never a truer word Gavin – Ms Avg is perfect description for Orla!
  • 10:14 PM Simon McGarr - Ostriches have that problem.
  • 10:14 PM Valerie Woods - No eyelids or averageness?
  • 10:16 PM Simon McGarr - Stupid Bond Ad for an Opel. Lads, its an Opel.
  • 10:16 PM Suzy Byrne - Where is little Ms. Nicky? Even more avg than Orla if that could be possible..
  • 10:16 PM Valerie Woods - They’re the most break intoable cars on the market…they’re market leaders
  • 10:17 PM Valerie Woods - Is that glasses? First impression of her was that she was in the wrong place….let’s see how she does
  • 10:18 PM Suzy Byrne - Yup glasses..
  • 10:18 PM Simon McGarr - Gavin Duffy is, according to Mediatraining.ie, Ireland’s leading Media Coach. His mogul status stems from being CEO of LM FM.
  • 10:18 PM Simon McGarr - She’s an Estate Agent, so I wish her only ill.
  • 10:18 PM Valerie Woods - Only the worst of curses upon her
  • 10:19 PM Simon McGarr - Stewart must have a little book of business cliche.
  • 10:19 PM Valerie Woods - she’s coming over as quite nervous
  • 10:20 PM Valerie Woods - Cliches are cliches because they tend to be true often
  • 10:20 PM Simon McGarr - Bruce College to Auctioneering.
  • 10:21 PM Simon McGarr - Gavin just kicked the Auctioneer about the room. I feel great.
  • 10:21 PM Suzy Byrne - Orla looks like she’s wearing a clerical collar…
  • 10:21 PM Valerie Woods - Blaming and more blaming
  • 10:21 PM Simon McGarr - Anglican Apprentice?
  • 10:22 PM Valerie Woods - Ha ha she does!! It’s multidenominational
  • 10:22 PM Suzy Byrne - Orla’s still pissed off at Shane…
  • 10:22 PM Valerie Woods - on shaky equality ground in this interview now
  • 10:23 PM Simon McGarr - Brenda gave us the only good explanation as to why she’d like the job. My money is looking pretty safe.
  • 10:23 PM Valerie Woods - I’ve been in the civil service for too long!
  • 10:23 PM Suzy Byrne - She seems to be the best out of the women as far as I can see
  • 10:23 PM Suzy Byrne - Deeply questionable on at least 4 of the Nine Grounds.
  • 10:24 PM Suzy Byrne - the apprentice and discrimination seem to go hand in hand…
  • 10:24 PM Valerie Woods - Looks like it.
  • 10:27 PM Simon McGarr - Stewart gets a gold star. Abandons Kuwait cars, went home.
  • 10:27 PM Suzy Byrne - oh Gavin wins prize for heartless b*stard!
  • 10:27 PM Valerie Woods - ….Gets into scrap with Gavin
  • 10:28 PM Valerie Woods - she walked right into that one
  • 10:29 PM Suzy Byrne - Orla is going to be chewed up and spat out here by Ms Shrink…
  • 10:30 PM Suzy Byrne - Come on Brenda…
  • 10:30 PM Valerie Woods - Good woman yourself!!
  • 10:30 PM Valerie Woods - She doesn’t know!
  • 10:31 PM Valerie Woods - Ah the old box ticking error
  • 10:31 PM Suzy Byrne - Stuart does not have a criminal record
  • 10:31 PM Valerie Woods - He’s not a pilot either
  • 10:31 PM Suzy Byrne - Stuart admits to being a womaniser and liar to boot!
  • 10:32 PM Valerie Woods - it’s only when he wants to get someone in the sack that he lies?!
  • 10:32 PM Valerie Woods - My money is on him!
  • 10:32 PM Suzy Byrne - Gavin’s chin nearly hits the table in his earnestness…seeking answers
  • 10:34 PM Valerie Woods - So she’s a big fish in a little pond
  • 10:34 PM Suzy Byrne - Nicky does not need her hand held she says…
  • 10:35 PM Valerie Woods - That ad doesn’t make me want to take a taxi
  • 10:35 PM Simon McGarr - Flaky net connection once again lets me down.
  • 10:36 PM Simon McGarr - Ferrero Roche giving me another sub-Bond experience.
  • 10:36 PM Suzy Byrne - my net is also not playing ball tonight…time to break out the chocolate…
  • 10:37 PM Valerie Woods - That’s a disappointment. I’m in the other room to the tv…and I have some spousal background noise..but other than it’s grand here.
  • 10:38 PM Simon McGarr - Taking a tiny peep at RTE to see who’s on the Q&A Panel while the Lindor bedazzle me with their melty wares.
  • 10:38 PM Suzy Byrne - and on the receptionists desk tonight…?
  • 10:39 PM Simon McGarr - Last week she had a stapler and an unplugged computer.
  • 10:39 PM Suzy Byrne - orla’s range of blouses are unbelievably…bad…
  • 10:39 PM Valerie Woods - I have no chocolate at all :(
  • 10:39 PM Suzy Byrne - Where’s Brian and Jackie?
  • 10:39 PM Valerie Woods - I was just thinking that! They’re as lousy as her attitude
  • 10:40 PM Simon McGarr - Bill didn’t want them to hear the secret sauce.
  • 10:40 PM Suzy Byrne - Nicky is liked..wow..
  • 10:40 PM Simon McGarr - They like Nikki. I’m disappointed.
  • 10:40 PM Valerie Woods - I’m surprised
  • 10:41 PM Suzy Byrne - Orla padlocked with a chain..lol
  • 10:41 PM Simon McGarr - Man from PriceWaterHouseCoopers failed to sparkle.
  • 10:41 PM Valerie Woods - Not surprised at that
  • 10:41 PM Valerie Woods - PWC and sparkle dont go together
  • 10:41 PM Simon McGarr - Female interviewer speaks in Bullet Points.
  • 10:42 PM Suzy Byrne - Brenda impresses Gavin!
  • 10:43 PM Valerie Woods - I don’t particularly like Stuart
  • 10:43 PM Suzy Byrne - but is not an apprentice according to hr woman..
  • 10:43 PM Simon McGarr - Bill smiles at the very mention of Stewart.
  • 10:43 PM Suzy Byrne - you are not alone Valerie…
  • 10:43 PM Valerie Woods - He sees himself…that’s why he smiles
  • 10:44 PM Simon McGarr - “Scores high on the likeability factor”. PwC oratory fail.
  • 10:44 PM Valerie Woods - UBER fail!
  • 10:45 PM Valerie Woods - There’s just something a bit creepy about Stuart…I think it’s the admitting to lying to burds thing that put me off him
  • 10:45 PM Suzy Byrne - so they didn’t like Orla and liked the other 3 – Nicky the only apprentice of the lot of them though?
  • 10:46 PM Valerie Woods - Yeah I was really surprised at that. I suppose, they want someone who they can mould
  • 10:46 PM Simon McGarr - He flashed them his badge.
  • 10:47 PM Valerie Woods - Ha ha I hope it was a big shiny one to distract them
  • 10:48 PM Suzy Byrne - Fiona Looney and razor sharp don’t go together
  • 10:48 PM Simon McGarr - She has quite the hairdresser, to be fair.
  • 10:48 PM Valerie Woods - Yeah I want her hair
  • 10:49 PM Simon McGarr - By the way, I am performing the superhuman task of liveblogging two programmes at once.
  • 10:49 PM Suzy Byrne - laptop still not working – hole punch and a refill pad! Red blouse for advent!
  • 10:49 PM Valerie Woods - yis are shite all of yis!
  • 10:49 PM Valerie Woods - You’re some man for one man!
  • 10:51 PM Simon McGarr - They’re all a bit shook sounding.
  • 10:51 PM Simon McGarr - ‘Thinking outside the box’. Brenda loses a point.
  • 10:51 PM Suzy Byrne - Brenda getting emotional
  • 10:51 PM Simon McGarr - Nikki has the most stressed forehead I’ve ever seen.
  • 10:51 PM Valerie Woods - They are very shaky…Brenda was especially so
  • 10:52 PM Valerie Woods - I don’t think Orla would be my friend
  • 10:52 PM Simon McGarr - Orla claims she’s going to refute something. Then just denies.
  • 10:52 PM Suzy Byrne - Orla does her icebox impression agaain
  • 10:52 PM Simon McGarr - FURY!
  • 10:52 PM Valerie Woods - It’s her updo
  • 10:52 PM Valerie Woods - hands on your gogetter!
  • 10:52 PM Simon McGarr - Warrioring mentioned.
  • 10:52 PM Suzy Byrne - warrior… Stuart does Tarzan impression…
  • 10:53 PM Valerie Woods - You can’t refute it unless you have proof to the contrary
  • 10:53 PM Valerie Woods - In fairness, I’d find it hard to listen to someone who shouts at me
  • 10:54 PM Simon McGarr - You can’t hear them, for a start.
  • 10:54 PM Valerie Woods - what makes her think the others don’t understand that
  • 10:54 PM Valerie Woods - ?
  • 10:54 PM Valerie Woods - Not when I’m walking away anyway
  • 10:54 PM Simon McGarr - Where does Orla get her blouse selection? The Princess Diana Jumble Sale?
  • 10:55 PM Suzy Byrne - Yawns at rigid icy orla..
  • 10:55 PM Valerie Woods - Yes I don’t like her or her blouses
  • 10:56 PM Simon McGarr - Bill has concerns. But he makes decisions.
  • 10:56 PM Simon McGarr - Orla Fired.
  • 10:57 PM Simon McGarr - She makes the ‘I’m so pleased at your constructive criticism’ face.
  • 10:57 PM Suzy Byrne - wow – Orla fired very quickly – he’s going for another one…
  • 10:57 PM Valerie Woods - When did he decide to point at them when he fires them
  • 10:57 PM Valerie Woods - Defo
  • 10:58 PM Suzy Byrne - nauseous at Stuart’s cards…
  • 10:58 PM Simon McGarr - The point and fire is a show trademark. Descended from Donald Trump himself.
  • 10:58 PM Valerie Woods - Ah I see…I didn’t see it before.
  • 10:58 PM Simon McGarr - Stuart’s card woejeous.
  • 10:58 PM Valerie Woods - Stuart the warrior!!!
  • 10:58 PM Suzy Byrne - Stuart fired!
  • 10:59 PM Simon McGarr - The Ex-warrior.
  • 10:59 PM Suzy Byrne - Brenda to win!
  • 10:59 PM Valerie Woods - I was surprised at that!
  • 10:59 PM Valerie Woods - I’m not sure, but I don’t really know them well enough to call it
  • 10:59 PM Suzy Byrne - nothing in those suitcases!
  • 11:00 PM Simon McGarr - Next week, we get all the losers brought back for a chaos-a-thon.
  • 11:00 PM Valerie Woods - Some shredded chinese newspapers
  • 11:01 PM Valerie Woods - That will be fun…defo going to tune into that!
  • 11:01 PM Simon McGarr - And we’re out. I’ve to leap over to my sadly neglected Q&A Liveblog. Jump with me.
  • 11:01 PM Valerie Woods - I’m scared I might fall!

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