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Late Late Show, 26th Sept, Sound Off

By Simon McGarr ⋅ September 27, 2008 ⋅

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9:57 PM Last week was a salutary lesson in hubris. No man, alone, could liveblog the carousel of light entertainment that is the Late Late Show. But, just maybe, I might be able to get by part of the way with the sound off.
9:57 PM Kathryne Thomas is on Late Late. I flick on the sound. She reveals that she and Pat have same hairdresser. Interview revolves around her going brunette.
9:58 PM Pat sounds like he’s in a circle of hell.
9:58 PM
Now she’s plugging a book. What on earth could she have to say?
9:59 PM Ah. Apparently she did it to celebrate being alive.
9:59 PM I need to know the name of this book now.
9:59 PM Called Off the Beaten track.
9:59 PM Some quotes from the Indo:I’m a big fan of Michael Palin and I want to bring the same in-depth approach to my book.
10:00 PM Some quotes: On the travel show you have to tell a story in seven minutes,” she says, “so there’s not enough time to go into detail
10:00 PM Sample in-depth story: my producer Kate Meehan was in severe pain with a wisdom tooth and we were a very, very long way from a dentist.
10:00 PM Now BoyZone. Eyes crossing, even with the sound off.
10:00 PM Good god, Pat’s been talking to Boyzone forever now.
10:00 PM They had to stand on the stage throughout.
10:00 PM No seats for the entertainment.
10:07 PM A quiz of some sort.
10:07 PM We’re back. Some sort of extended intro.
10:07 PM I’ve no idea who this Glammy Mammy woman is. Is she a soap actress? Sound on for clues.
10:09 PM I see. Sound back off. She is a woman who has sex with young men.
10:09 PM How long could this interview last? What can Pat be asking?
10:16 PM The audience! We’ve gone to the audience.
10:16 PM Baldies clearly trying to shout out their phone numbers or similar.
10:17 PM I knew it
10:17 PM Woman seemingly trying to pimp her mother(?) sitting beside her.
10:18 PM Nodding in response to comments from a woman who looks like a Winning Streak contestant. These are clearly censorious.
10:19 PM Squinting man looks unimpressed.
10:19 PM This woman is a very calm media performer. I wonder what her background is?
10:20 PM We’re all done with the Glammy Mammy.
10:20 PM Whoever this band is, the teen girls in the audience are delighted.
10:21 PM Men in hats. Sound on for a moment to assess audio output.
10:22 PM Unremarkable. Sound back off again.
10:23 PM Songs last a long time when you have to watch them with the sound off.
10:24 PM What would RTE do for music visuals if all the blue lights in the world vanished?
10:24 PM Is the desk is too tall for Pat? He’s looking a little bit Junior Infants behind it tonight.
10:24 PM Some form of band banter. Mute button how I do love thee.
10:25 PM Young things on telly now.
10:25 PM Alexia, can you elaborate?
10:26 PM Poor Beardy boy quite nervous. Lacks the cynical gloss of the Glammy Mammy.
10:28 PM Sound on. Pat giving us the soft sell.
10:28 PM I’m waiting for the Censorious Winning Streak Lady to really get worked up.
10:28 PM Shot of Mammies in the audience.
10:29 PM Grinning away.
10:29 PM Everyone loves seeing their sons on the Late Late.
10:29 PM Pat’s looking for a male role model. Conor giving a good answer. Ernest.
10:30 PM Going to the Mammies. Pat abandoned the lads when he heard that nobody had been negative. Positivity makes for bad telly.
10:37 PM Now we are going to have `are their girlfriends safe from their mothers` inferences…
10:37 PM Flaky broadband meant I failed to invite all to keep up.
10:38 PM Asking about the sexuality of the sons was low.
10:38 PM I turned the sound off for my own protection when Pat asked about DIY artificial insemination.
10:38 PM What the hell is happening now.
10:39 PM Conor and Darragh were great in the face of complete insensitivity and PK’s search for titillation ratings.
10:39 PM Quiz, now ads.
10:40 PM Killinaskully. Actually using the Groucho nose and glasses as a joke.
10:40 PM Woman who wafts petals from her clothing.
10:40 PM Good grief. Diamond smelling washing powder.
10:40 PM What smell is that exactly?
10:41 PM – Suzy, very much agreed with your point of insensitivity. They were very impressive.
10:41 PM Some sort of O2 gubbins. In a non-Irish desert.
10:41 PM Yay for O2
10:42 PM Munch Bunch yoghurts. When I was small the Much Bunch were a group of Mr. Men like fruit and veg characters. Now they seem to be a single giant cow.
10:43 PM Very boring bulmers ads. But of interest when you know that C&C have suffering after the terrible summer.
10:43 PM Have ad breaks on RTE always been this long or has something been cut short, eh?
10:44 PM GOOD GOD! an ad for Easi-Singles. Toasted of all improbable things.
10:44 PM Seriously, that’s at least 8 fairly long ads so far.
10:45 PM Did we just not notice this before the days of liveblogging?
10:45 PM – Fergal, interesting point!
10:45 PM And we’re back!
10:45 PM Sound on, for sake of curiosity.
10:45 PM No HSE people on show due to the fact that the audience might have a view!
10:45 PM Cancer. HSE Cowardice exposed.
10:46 PM HSE fuckups. Sickening. Wonder if the researchers cogging off Newstalk too
10:46 PM “i think they have a bloody cheek, the HSE. It says we have something to be afraid of”
10:47 PM Ack! If there’s no-one from the HSE they ought to put this woman on the stage in the chairs.
10:47 PM What are the HSE afraid of… Hmm. Let me count the things..
10:47 PM “What are they afraid of. Why won’t they answer our questions?”
10:48 PM Centre of excellence model being questioned by Pat. He wants expert to tell him it works. It doesn’t become so just because HSE says it is/
10:48 PM I see the HSE are using the Bishop’s abuse formulation.
10:49 PM This is why I hope they never get rid of the Late Late, even though I’m not a regular viewer.
10:49 PM Matters have happened in the past. But we all will have to live in the future. So let’s not look back. You! Stop looking back!
10:50 PM Contraception or hormones blamed for haemorraging rather than cancer for one girl from Limerick
10:50 PM Anyone else freaked out by the amt of cancer misdiagnosis problems in the Mid-West Regional Hospital?
10:50 PM – Alexia, just glad I don’t have to go
10:50 PM You see, we have to slog though the Glammy Mammies to ensure that we have this forum for the public. Pat is much much better on this kind of thing.
10:51 PM Medical establishment not keen on women, never were.
10:51 PM Susan Kirwan is great.
10:51 PM Someone needs to get the UK doctors lined up to look at these things.
10:51 PM God, what a horrible story she’s telling.
10:52 PM 28 and a radical hysterectomy and ovaries radiotherapied to hell.
10:52 PM Clarity and eloquence in the face of this sequence of horrors.
10:52 PM Intelligence and fury are a devastating combination
10:52 PM No Civil Legal Aid in Ireland.
10:53 PM All she wanted was reassurance. She’s not even entitled to legal aid
10:53 PM Didn’t tell kids she had cancer, they didn’t need to know. Went to shop today and found herself on front of Indo.
10:54 PM They have it in the UK. It lets things like the Omagh civil case to happen. You don’t have to gamble everything to take your case.
10:54 PM 2 hours before show and only because of Indo she gets contact from Health Board to apologise
10:55 PM Ack again! Harney quoted complaining about people going to the media.
10:55 PM Legal Aid only available in Ireland for criminal and family matters. The law abiding citizen who’s been screwed by the state gets no help.
10:55 PM Brain implosion.
10:55 PM “A delayed cancer diagnosis and a hysterectomy is a blip”
10:56 PM Here come the Donegal stories – another cancer blackspot in Ireland.
10:57 PM Donegal very proactive that people power can change this situation – people put politicians and HSE in place
10:57 PM Late Late have basically run the show with the empty chair gambit. I expect the Sindo to report that there has been a dressing down after calls to senior management on Sunday.
10:58 PM Volunteers doing the job of Tony O’ Brien and HSE in Donegal
10:58 PM Women are having radical mastectomys in Donegal rather than travel for treatment.
10:59 PM Pfft. Actual People of Donegal elected 66% FF slate. Including current Tainiste.
11:01 PM In reality, the HSE is a fake. Was stuck on top of the utterly malformed Health Boards, with the same management in the jobs.
11:01 PM “politicans and governments come and go. Cancer is here to stay. no child in Ireland should grow up without a parent because of cancer”
11:01 PM Well, that was a tonic of a section.
11:01 PM Raises the notion that Kenny could just flog away at these issues, week after week.
11:02 PM OK, gotta turn sound back off now.
11:02 PM Next… ‘turning our marriages into affairs’.
11:02 PM “and what to do when the missus is piling on the pounds”
11:02 PM Ah Rabbi Shmuley comes to Ireland – for those who don’t know him they are in for a treat
11:02 PM Rabbi on to talk about brokeness of men. Mute button is GO!
11:02 PM I don’t like the way Kenny moves from one big issue topic in a matter of fact way.
11:03 PM from one big issue topic to the next, I mean
11:03 PM Y’know, usually, I like Rabbis. Not so sure about this one though.
11:03 PM That was always the Late Late Show way. Though in the past, they’d keep the biggy to the end and then let each guest stay on stage.
11:03 PM Rabbi is very good speaker, clear and emphatic
11:04 PM You’d end up with a panel engaging with the audience. Some wildcards would appear.
11:04 PM When I say `treat` my tounge is in my cheek. He has recently published The Broken American Male and How to Fix Him…
11:05 PM Is it gaffer Tape?
11:05 PM I know someone who used to be Gaybos producer. Was in awe at his skill in moving from topic to topic without seeming crass.
11:05 PM @Simon: Yeah, nowadays there isn’t that. Quantity over quality. I’d like to see more time given to big issue topics.
11:06 PM I’m mulling over the meaning of the shift from little black and chrome chairs for guests to big brown leather ones. Is this a recessionary craving for comfort?
11:06 PM Gay could do the topic switches. When Pat does them, it’s cold
11:06 PM Women no longer behaving as ladies!
11:07 PM Women on streets of Dublin showing far more skin than Western World norm apparently
11:07 PM I can tell by the Rabbi’s eyebrow semaphore that he is not in favour of this.
11:07 PM For a woman, sex is an invasion
11:07 PM It’s always our fault lads! From Mary Magdelene on…
11:07 PM I’m not feeling the pink tie
11:07 PM Honestly, right after the last segment and they give us a male authority figure telling us what women ought to be like.
11:08 PM Men’s genitalia are on the outside of their bodies…in case we didn’t know. And this fact means that they cannot be controlled!
11:08 PM This guy is seriously bumming my previously pro-Rabbi stance
11:08 PM Mute buttons are Go! Doesn’t anyone listen?
11:09 PM Pat’s tie is impeccably knotted. It’s a skill I’ve never mastered.
11:09 PM “All I have as I get older is other female friends” apparently say older women, who are “platonic lesbians”
11:09 PM Platonic Lesbians! As opposed to the real lesbians that Pat was dissecting earlier.
11:10 PM OMG.. women shouldn’t walk naked in front of their husbands!
11:10 PM Kenny has never found a configuration of the Late Late stage set that suits him.
11:10 PM Any wife who is silly enough to walk around the bedroom naked in front of her husband is at risk of the nightmare scenario, where the man will watch TV instead of looking at her
11:10 PM 72 percent of american wives get undressed in bathroom…
11:11 PM Shouldn’t have TV in bedroom.
11:11 PM Size 6 to size 18 over the course of the marriage – good man Pat
11:11 PM But Kenny does have impeccable shoulderpads
11:11 PM Children demand to watch Tellytubbies on it at 6am. Demand in the strongest terms.
11:11 PM Why don’t women keep themselves looking impeccable like Pat? Huh? Why not?
11:12 PM I can see I am not missing a piece of ‘must hear’ TV.
11:13 PM “The grass is never greener on the other side. It’s where you water it, tend it”
11:13 PM Why can’t Pat going to the Audience on this???
11:13 PM “Your face will launch a thousand rows”
11:13 PM I’m now getting a photo of Bono pointing to Brian Cowen. No explanation.
11:13 PM Ads!
11:14 PM Ok, ad count starts now
11:14 PM Ah there’s Bono after his non Meeting with Sarah Palin probably.
11:14 PM @Simon – caption competition for the audience
11:14 PM Looking for my lighter.
11:14 PM Ads for RTE.
11:15 PM Ad for sugar bar with crispies in it. Totally subverting the family favourite chocolate rice crispie bun. Repulsive.
11:15 PM RTE.ie just gives me a black screen with “commercial break” on it
11:15 PM Ad for VHI. Clearly got wind of the Cancer section.
11:15 PM jaysis the Toilet Duck ad is all cgi
11:16 PM Thought I’m not sure what section the toilet duck tube that shoots gunk is linked to.
11:16 PM Will Martin!
11:16 PM The Sunday CD from Daily Mail actually looks alright
11:16 PM The Daily Mail!
11:16 PM Vibrating inside as I watch this ad for the free CD from Mail on Sunday
11:16 PM Together at Last!
11:16 PM New disk yoke for the inside of the loo bowl – men will not have that plastic over the rim yoke sticking in their arses when they sit with the seat lid up .
11:17 PM There’s that revolting McDonald’s ad where the clearly divorced dad is rejected by his daughter for 15 years.
11:17 PM Lovely.
11:17 PM McDs.. more family values shit food
11:18 PM Coors Light now has a little blue mountain. Despite myself, I am delighted.
11:18 PM Melty CGI chocolate.
11:18 PM Chocolate ad that would be banned by Rabbi Schmuley
11:18 PM Ooo.. Another ripe liveblogging subject. Dana’s family research
11:18 PM Especially stinging given the place McDonald’s holds in the annals of dysfunctional families
11:18 PM @Suzy – Dana would probably be banned by him too
11:18 PM And we’re back.
11:19 PM Terrible caption.
11:19 PM Reminder for me not to watch RTE1 on Monday night – unless Dana finds out her grandad was a drag queen and she has two lesbian great aunts who saved ireland?
11:19 PM Cowan looks disgusted by Bono
11:19 PM Clearly entries were neutered.
11:19 PM @Suzy that would be the best thing ever.
11:19 PM Helicopter. Obv the highlight of a free holiday to Kerry
11:19 PM @Suzy – only in the name of sweet divine Jebus, though, eh?
11:20 PM They’d have saved the wrong Ireland.
11:20 PM I live in hope gents…
11:20 PM Pat’s looking chatty. Should I chance the sound?
11:20 PM Val Doonican?
11:20 PM Oh feck off Brendan Boyer
11:20 PM Damn! That was badly timed.
11:20 PM Ah no it’s Brendan Boyer… with rug?
11:20 PM Brendan Bowyer. Mute! Mute!
11:21 PM Sound off here
11:21 PM seriously, is this the height of Irish talent or did the days of that being on the Late Late end with Gaybo?
11:21 PM Still, with the blessed Mute on hand, we can contemplate the place of the white jacket in Irish entertainment.
11:21 PM Currently going with new Calexico album for background tunage. You?
11:21 PM All you folk on mute, you’re lucky. “Then I heard Elvis and it changed everything and I set off at the age of 19 to follow a rock and roll dream”
11:22 PM He claps with grace and wears a cool, white blazer though. Props.
11:22 PM How does he get that to scan?
11:22 PM “The Beatles opened for Brendan Boyer. Fair enough that’s impressive”
11:22 PM Sax Solo!
11:22 PM He looks like he’s going mad
11:22 PM My Bloody Valentine on here
11:23 PM jaysis it really is an autobiography
11:23 PM Bowyer must look especially weird with MBV accompaniment
11:23 PM I’m loving the keyboard player. He’s all muscles and moodiness. Like we can’t see Brendan Boyer in front of him.
11:23 PM “not bad for a Waterford dream”. The only one they have. Hurling isn’t one anyways
11:23 PM @Fergal It all makes sense
11:23 PM Is this the Extended version of American Pie? How long can a song last?
11:24 PM @Simon he don’t break like crystal
11:24 PM Docking points as his shoes are not white
11:24 PM backing singer must be grandson – and he’s squeezing his balls as he sings or something.
11:24 PM Please no interview. Please please please
11:24 PM ah crap
11:24 PM Crystal a notorius Showband groupie.
11:24 PM @Suzy you tease!
11:25 PM Singers aren’t allowed to sit down for interviews. We saw that with Boyzone.
11:25 PM Me mammy remembers Brendan Boyer having rubber balls as a hit
11:26 PM Sad end for the man who once did the hucklebuck
11:26 PM pat, we’ve bloody heard all this in the song.
11:26 PM Is it safe to turn on the sound?
11:27 PM This never ends, does it?
11:27 PM Answer: No.
11:28 PM How much plastic surgery do you think BB has had? Def eyebags
11:28 PM Freedom of Waterford being given – ah chance to meet Martin Cullen – so lucky!
11:28 PM Hand clasp and shoulder push.
11:28 PM Bet Crystal doesn’t make it into the Showband documentary.
11:29 PM Wow! A tiny man carrying an egg cup.
11:29 PM Mickey Harte – why do we need the daughter too?
11:29 PM Ah..
11:29 PM Right, that’s me done folks. Thanks for this. Lots of fun. Talk to yis soon
11:29 PM She’s the inspiration for that Tea Bag ad.
11:29 PM A lovely girl in a white dress. How does she make triangular sandwiches?
11:30 PM Is it because Mickey is a man of few words? or because Daughter needs chance to wear dress?
11:30 PM Mickey has not shaved in a few days.
11:30 PM It is a lovely dress.
11:31 PM Ah-Ha! Former Rose of Tralee Ulster Rose.
11:32 PM Ah, Rose. Makes sense now
11:32 PM Loveliness explained.
11:33 PM Sound off again.
11:33 PM Bye Bye Daragh, I ought to say. Thanks for joining in.
11:33 PM Mickey has been Tyrone manager for as long as I have been alive, it seems.
11:38 PM Sorry incoming email distracts about Sarah Palin’s whereabouts for tonights debate. An Irish Pub in Philadelphia seemingly. But that might have changed.
11:38 PM Blah, blah. Cut to the shot of Pat straightening his question cards and pointing the audience
11:38 PM Please
11:38 PM Mickey a longtime Pioneer I notice.
11:39 PM Bring back Brendan Boyer. This must be the longest muted interview in history.
11:39 PM Daughter has stunning tan for inhabitant of Northern Ireland. Must be microclimate in Tyrone.
11:40 PM We’re going to the absurd FlatPhone!
11:40 PM “Midnight Caller”
11:40 PM Its one of those duty interviews. Interviewing an All-Ireland winner is like the Presbytrian Notes in the Times. Not fun, but you have to do it.
11:40 PM LOL. Bet she has one and he’s calling, getting a busy tone
11:41 PM We seem to have rushed through the FlatPhone.
11:41 PM And We’re Done! Didn’t I say this was a 5 person job?
11:41 PM And we’re out!
11:41 PM Ah well.. Over for another week!
11:42 PM Ah we got idiot member of audience waving into camera!
11:43 PM That was fun. Y’know, its a ridiculous show in many respects, but the Late Late can still manage to give me a small shiver of patriotic pride.
11:43 PM Thanks to Suzy Byrne, Alexia Golez, Fergal Crehan, Daragh Doyle. All of whom, I hope will post this whole monster to their blogs.
11:44 PM It is an indigenous work. We are of it.
11:46 PM For Good or For Ill
11:48 PM Hehe.. bleary fingers are messing with Simon’s witticims. Whoopsies.. “It is an indigenous work. We are of it.” is so his!
12:00 AM This whole monster is the Inaugural post on http://www.liveblog.ie/blog

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Late Late Show, 26th Sept, Sound Off

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